29/05/24

I had every hope that today's rumblings would turn out to be a mere practical joke, though it's nearing midnight and there's yet to be a single, poorly timed cry of "April Fools".

Lancelot is dead.

Properly dead and better positioned to be cremated than buried. 

I don't even have time to mourn the loss of yet another friend with the weight of this loss on the agency. Not only was he among the best of us all, he was the sixth agent lost in as many months.

With this, we can confirm a systematic attack on Kingsman. 

Arthur has called on us to forego traditional protocol and present candidates from our usual sources to immediately replace Lancelot, Gawain and Percival. Naturally, I'm going to go about this my own way.

The agency is out of touch with modern London, with the real world as a whole. We should be striving to benefit from a more grounded, streetwise, human candidate, someone who can shake things up in those ancient halls and remind us that the majority of people we're going to encounter on the streets are actually posh knobs hobnobbing with other posh knobs.